Day One: Being an Adult

Well, this is my first blog.. obviously. I'm sure we're all very excited for all of my future posts. I'm sure you can tell, already, just by these first few sentences, what a success my blog will be. I could dominate this post with unimportant details about myself, but I think I'll save that for a later date, and instead I'll cut right to the chase.


Very recently I decided that I wanted to start taking those "baby steps" towards being an "adult". I am 21 and I no longer live with my parents, but I find that I am clinging desperately to all forms of co-dependency possible. My first act as an adult is one that may shock you: flossing daily. 


Now, I'm sure that most of you are saying, "But, Alyssa.. I've been flossing every day for the majority of my life.." And to those people, I kindly reply, "LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M JUST A KID". I don't know what it is about flossing that makes it such a freaking task for people, really. I mean, maybe it's the fact that when you wind the floss around your fingers, nine times out of ten it's going to be too tight and cut the circulation off-- or maybe it's because if you're not an avid flosser, like myself, your gums tend to overreact and bleed all over the place. I leave my oral-hygienic experience looking like my teeth have just lost in a bar fight. It's not cute. 


People always feel guilty for not flossing, too, yet they continue to practice the same lazy habits. I can only assume that I'm not alone in lying to the dentist when they ask, "Hmm.. have you been flossing?" in that accusatory tone that screams, "YOU HAVE NOT BEEN FLOSSING, BUT I AM GOING TO ASK YOU AS A MEANS TO TRAP YOU INTO FEELING OBLIGATED TO LIE TO ME". After you lie, you're always left with one of two feelings: extreme satisfaction or debilitating guilt. Because I'm a good Christian (scoff) I'm generally left with the ladder of the two emotions. I can't even enjoy the victory of having told a successful lie.


Anyway, I am now on day three of my "quest to be an adult by flossing every day" challenge. So far, so good. I don't know why, but after I floss, I always feel very accomplished. Like, I could have slept all day, skipped three of my four classes, and generally been sloth-like in all of my endeavors for the day-- but if I've flossed once-- and I don't even need to leave my bed to do this-- I feel like I've saved a bushel of babies from a burning building. I feel like I deserve some kind of special award for being so productive.


I'm wondering if this whole flossing thing is getting a little out of hand...